So the headline that I have refused to tell most people about lately is that I am on a one month down-time. Well, actually, it’s only up until an unknown time in June, so I’m just counting it as a month to be less vague.

Downtime from what? Veggies.

Yes, I am eating animals, nao.

Well the thing is this: originally for the anniversary, we were to splurge big time on Shangri La’s Inagiku Japanese buffet. Since much of their food are meat-based, I decided to eat meat so I won’t have any stomach issues when the time comes. Sorta like forcing the stomach to have advanced issues with its self before the actual day comes, and by then, it should already be okay. The funny thing is we kinda scrapped the Inagiku plan and we’re going for something relatively grander instead not involving so much eating, but that’s not the point.

The point is, I’m eating meat. The 4 year vegetarian has broken her streak by actually eating meat in public. *gasp*

Well, the truth is, I would like to say it’s not THAT bad, but I think I’m trying to make it seem like it’s a bigger issue than it should really be. Case point, I was at my brother’s house with my parents eating Sinampalukang Manok (I don’t know how to say that in English, but it’s chicken with tamarind leaves and tamarind soup, I don’t know, but it’s usually much more delicious than it sounds), and I told them—yes, the people I avoided to tell the most—about the situation (they keep reminding me about the drama I once pulled off screaming “MURDERER” once at my mother). And much as they are happy about it (with my brother pushing incessantly that meat is healthy no matter how many statements he raised were just so WRONG), they were disappointed that it didn’t come up to me as a realization that meat is tasty, but in fact, it was bland.

“That’s because you’re eating meat that *I* didn’t cook,” My father declared. He has been cooking for the family for more than 30 years now, and that kitchen genius in him was shattered when his youngest refused to eat his food. He also realized he couldn’t cook so many variants of veggies without them tasting all the same.

I agreed. But to be fair, all the chicken I have been eating didn’t taste special.

“Chicken?” He asked. Yeah, well, see, I couldn’t really like the taste of cow—BEEF! Beef, sorry—because it’s too strong and sometimes upsets my stomach, so I go for the lesser evil.

“But you tried the jerky,” My brother asked.

“Yeah, and I spit it out, too.”

“But it’s good!” He cried indignantly.

“It tastes of bark. Flavored with beef.” I roll my eyes, and he shrugs his shoulders. He admits to it, and claims he likes them because it’s just so convenient to have beef jerky strips marketed as junk food.

So I get an idea. For the next days, I went around and tried all the more famous fast food brands, and tried eating common meat: from KFC’s Chicken Steak (I SWEAR they’re manufactured using idk what. No chicken has meat strands THAT LONG), to McDonalds’ Breakfast Sausages, Jollibee’s Burger Steak, Chowking’s Chow Fan, and even Mini Stop’s easy-to-heat Burger Steak packages. And you know what I discovered?

They all taste of paper.

No joke.

The past days, I have been eating different kinds of heavy, flavored paper. Not only have I gained weight, but I have never felt so unhealthy for the past 4 years. You eat veggies, and at least you EXPECT it’s going to taste of paper. And then you find that it tastes good, and then it’s okay. You try eating chicken or meat, expect to taste meat (skin? Zombie fail, lol), and you taste…paper.

Now that’s a pretty huge rip off, don’t you think?

It’s a painful experience. You try biting into a chicken joy, and you taste bland, AND stale oil, and some attempts at flavoring, all mixed together. I’m sure somewhere there are meats which taste pretty well. But these are stores which you could see duplicates of everywhere. And I wonder, why do people eat this? Why do people eat here?

And I wonder why *I* ate them. I knew that I have long stopped eating them due to experiment. I realized I was letting myself eat them because that’s what I have around me. I got too lazy to wake up earlier to fix myself up my own lunch, now I have resorted to eating meat. Back when I was with my previous company, at least there were choices. Now, it’s just…these.

I have let convenience turn me and my taste bad.

Now, I have wondered exactly what else in my life I have let get fat or unhealthy because it’s convenient. I have bargained choices, days, tastes, experiences, arguments, and maybe even my life itself—because it’s convenient to be whatever I am now. If I did things because I really wanted to—and wasn’t lazy enough to do them anyway, nor got into the pressure because it’s convenient—would I be better? Would I be different? Would I be a healthier vegetarian (lol)?

Hmm. I don’t know.

But if it were you, would you still bother finding out if it’s no longer convenient?