Shit. I think I cannot wait for this monthly thing to finally go this month. It’s giving me crazy ideas. Like this afternoon, I was looking at myself in the mirror and I got this compulsion to cut my hair. OMG. I better stay clear of hairdressers lest I don a really crazy short hair again anytime soon.

I don’t have anything against short hair. I think it’s brilliant, I think it’s the best idea to have your hair short should doomsday arrive and there are simply no combs anywhere. It’s convenient, it’s wash and wear, and for crying out loud, it only needs 5 small minutes of your time to tame every freakin day.

The problem is, I have something with short hairs—I look either:

a) Korean
b) A little boy
c) This is not really included but it can be a mixture of both, add a little tan as well—so yeah, a slightly tanned korean little boy.

I have always liked girls with long hair. Sue me. I find them so elegant, so…composed. (besides, I have a thing for two long haired girls making out, but that’s beside the point) I haven’t donned long hair since maybe two, three years ago; I think I have always had it short since I left my first job in Alabang. No relation, it’s just that I don’t know why I never had it long again. So now, looking at myself in the mirror—I can’t wait to have it long and nice, but I can’t wait to freaking sic the scissors on them, too. Like, die! die! die!

The problem is, although yeah, I am starting out with my being feminine again (latebloomer, can’t help it), I don’t think I’m confident enough that I would have it short, and pull it off like a girl, still. I remember almost always acting macho when it happens. I hate it. It’s something that I feel is brought about by the “feel” of looking like a boy. And the last thing I would want people to label me with is “ang cute nung tibo na manager.” *laughs* Come on. Sometimes, it happens, but I simply don’t want to be labelled tibo. As much as it’s really not in the labelling, but let’s just say I’m a huge fan of femininity. I just hate it that it hates me.

Pete, one of the SMEs for the North America region, came around and staunchly claimed that, no, Marian, you will NOT cut your hair. You’re prettier with long hair. Sigh. He enumerated a list of things I could do with it, all of them mostly involving pricey treatments. Ah, well. I think I should stop watching Winona Ryder movies from here on, lest I fiddle with my own cutter and start my own slasher movie. Err…hair slashing, that is.

I guess I’m gonna have to stick with this for a while. Ika nga ni Yang, maganda ka na ng long hair, eeffort ka pa ba ng short hair? XD

——————-

So never mind what logic says I say /
Logic a guy who oughta empty his pockets /
All we want is an open mind you know, the /
Kind you can earn and can’t buy /

- Swimming pool, The Submarines

(love-to-sway-along song of the day)