Sometimes you wonder why nobody ever made doctors about moments. I mean, yeah, it can be pretty hard to define for now, but if you think about it, it makes sense. I mean, come on, it’s almost like pre-empting possible psychological damage. Half of the nut case issues out there are because of moments, really.
Nobody ever listed moments as a primary need. But when you consider how much we are made by moments, you would realize how much of a slave we really are to it: a defining song to intensify a feeling; a lingering look; a perfect Sunday morning in the room which lets you gaze at someone while sleeping and you’re both under a comforter; a hand held while driving; a laugh shared while thinking of a word. Then there are the lethal ones: a request to stay five minutes so you could be looked at and remembered how you are because you would be missed; starting to walk away but you stop because deep inside you’re trapped in the middle of your decision to either make another step or go and run back; making that decision and running back and making that final kiss of the day, week, possibly longer. And you walk more and linger and you know you can’t do anything else but look sadly as the person goes. And when it has finally sunk in that it’s gone, you still stay in your spot wondering whether you should ask for the person to come back or you go on and let things run its course. And you know you have to choose the latter.
See, every freaking day of our lives we are taught about the basics of living: money, food, shelter, clothes, more education, more money, more food, better shelter, better clothes. And it all revolves around it. But nobody ever bothered to have told me, goddamit, Alexis, one day your heart will be torn from you and it’s all because of you and your decision to linger on moments.
It’s cruel. But that’s the essence of everything, isn’t it? The world would have to be cruel for you to do something, damn it, and make it less cruel for you. And I wonder, when would be that time I would have the courage to step up and make it less cruel for that person, for me, and for us?
October 26th, 2009 at 8:29 am
1.you enjoy instructions don’t you. haha. i just had to say that.
2.
10/10/09 06:04 AM
and she says ‘lover, this song’s for you.’
slender hands paused lightly on the strings. the air is electric and all you can hear is breathing. yours.
and her eyes tell you it’s a big lie but fuck it’s beautiful all the same.
and you drink it in and you breathe it in
and you let her sing her song and
you lose your self a little in it.
she keeps playing but you’re half gone
October 26th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I read that yesterday. I can’t believe I missed out on so much of my DL life by not reading your blogs. I’ll diligently read na, I promise. ^_^
And yeah, I felt for that blog, too. I’m looking forward to more. I’ll start stalking you na rin. lol