This started after I reacted to one of his articles about taglish and proficiency of mother language, and probably surprised him as I wasn’t one of his receipients through email. But Ger, ever the sharer, forwarded the piece.
He then forwarded this to me after giving a great reply to my first email. As per his words, “I hope to talk to you more about this (and other things). Discussions like this are quite rare in this program.”
It is a rather interesting topic. Different point of views. But mostly, it’s a sensitive and awkward topic yet still comfortable.
Read on. Tell me what you think.
(last names edited out for privacy)
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From: Cherissa C V
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 8:40 PM
To: MarianGrace H Pagtakhan
Subject: RE: Ay, Bakla!
True.
I just read this now and you expounded the idea. Still, as with tragedy, this will not be understood by most.
Beauty comes after realization.
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From: MarianGrace H Pagtakhan
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 5:16 PM
To: AldrinLuis F T
Cc: Cherissa C V; DaisyJane T V; Teddy C C
Subject: RE: Ay, Bakla!
Hi Aldrin,
Let me start by saying I agree to some of the points you have expressed. Understandably, there is such a pain of having to use terms or words to describe things. After all, a person’s view of self isn’t very parallel to another’s, and having to transcend that is the most painful of all. As Ger has once said, an artist does not explain what they do, they do it because it’s in their heart.
Sadly, humans can be traitorous in terms of finding definitions for everything, and misjudging things by giving the most similar connotation they *might* be able to digest.
I also understand how you’re trying to extract the nature of homosexuality in these terms. However, from this I would have to start to object.
The term Bakla, Bading and Bayot–although as expressed in your etymological explanation– is often perceived as yes, the more effeminate men who have chosen to respond to the call of their feminine side–more often to those who cross-dress, work in parlors, and perceive themselves as women. Transgenderism may be the highest degree, but they all share the common connotation which is also being coined to those whose moves are less masculine, less tough, and who seem to be more shy and subtle instead of aggressive.
However, we have to understand who exactly are the people who have coined the term. If we are going to remember our history, there are only two acceptable sexualities available: the Stereotypical Man and the Stereotypical Woman. The SM is the person who brings home the bacon, chops the logs for fire, roughly makes love to the wife, sternly lectures the children and applies the whip if necessary. The SM does not know emotion, has never known tears except on fairly acceptible circumstances like in grief, and never communicated farther than a grunt. The SW is the needy, clingy wife who was never trusted to take any further responsibility aside from household chores, and expected to tend to the children. To the SW, tears are forgiven, emotions can be discussed, but still suppressed.
Do you remember the most common threat of a father? Wag kang iiyak. Bakla ka ba?
These are the people who have started the term and have given such a rather bad view of a bakla. We are still, sadly, bound by the stereotype. There should be only a man and a woman. If you cannot display the very qualities that they think and believe makes up a man, you either choose to shape up and be a man, or you’re outcasted and coined as a woman…who has a penis. There goes your suppressed bayot. They then take on roles that the society has alloted for them, being stuck in parlors or mocked and given a penis to suck.
The problem is, the society still fails to understand and are comforted by the idea of labels–this after all, makes things simpler. You HAVE to be bakla if you fall for another man. It has to be that way, isn’t it? Even in a woman to woman relationship, one has to assume the role of the masculine and be labelled a butch.
Once, we were apprehended by a lesbian who claimed there has to be a Butch and a Femme in a relationship for it to work. She claimed we have to assume certain roles. We couldn’t understand how she couldn’t understand that simply, there are people who plain go after the same sex, but not take up on a role at all. As if loving or choosing a mate isn’t enough, you also have to choose a role to go with it.
Roles. People can never be satisfied by the mere idea that a man has fallen for another man, without one of them assuming a role. Without being tagged as bakla. Soon, some of them conform to how the society look at them: they become more effeminate than they can handle.
I remember this one instance when my best friend has opted that he be called “bi” because the connotation sounds better. Hindi tunog balahurang bakla, he claimed. I had another friend who seemed straight when he was with me, later on we found him to be too “maharot” and “malandi” after he has outed himself to a couple of friends. I remember an entry from your journal (sorry, I tripped on it while doing the Butch Dalisay research) where you were asking why males become the stereotypical maharot. Do they really do it because they’re gay, or is it because the term they attach to themselves frees their suppression, then affirming to people that they are indeed “gay?”
Again, Aldrin, I understand your point of wanting to explain better the beauty of things. Some people would never tire explaining themselves trying to avoid the connotation. Some people shrug it off because they know who they are and have stopped explaining themselves. While others…may just accept being labelled bakla because it may just be easier to explain than I’m-a-man-who-has-fallen-for-another-man-and-may-seem-emotional-at-times-or-sometimes-I-like-girls-too-it’s-just-that-I-find-guys-pretty-for-now-or-maybe-even-till-I-get-old-but-it-doesn’t-mean-I-like-dresses-or-make-up-so-please-don’t-bring-me-to-the-nearest-parlor-as-I-am-who-I-am-and-I-am-proud-of-it-so-please-don’t-give-me-labels-just-stick-me-to-being-a-man-who-has-fallen-for-another-man.
Darn. Just typing it that way gave me a chest ache. And I’m sure it gives a lot of other guys pain too just having to think about it.
BUT–it doesn’t mean you should stop explaining things that way if you feel like it. It’s just that not a lot of people understand us this way. We are, after all, simply people who have transcended the common bounds of stereotypical nature and have chosen to fall for the uncommon. But society is common. Sadly.
Cheers,
JC
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From: AldrinLuis F T
Sent: Friday, November 09, 2007 5:01 PM
To: MarianGrace H Pagtakhan; Cherissa C V
Subject: Ay, Bakla!
Hi,
If you’re not busy, tell me what you think about the issue. 
Take your time.
On 10/13/07, Aldrin wrote:
Hi, Migs…
I just wanted to ask your opinion about the word bakla and/or bading and its usage. How do you use it? Why do you use it?
Once you have answered my humble request for opinion, shall my intents be clear.
Thank you, Aldrin (no pseudonyms for me)
On 13/10/2007, Migs of Manila wrote:
Bakla means homosexual. Bading has the same meaning, although some people would rather use Bading as it is easier on the ears.
Used in a sentence:
Bakla si German Moreno. (German Moreno is gay.)
Bakla ka ba? (Are you gay?)
Bading ako. (I’m gay.)
Is this helpful?
Migs
On 10/16/07, Aldrin wrote:
I see. That is how most people think.
Allow me to state my intents. I am Aldrin, sociology student, and my letter will not be the touching or intriguing stories that you oftentimes receive.
Bakla
This name suggest ‘transgenderism’ (read ‘woman trapped inside a man’s body’) not homosexuality. At least, not directly. From Tagalog babaying lalaki, it doesn’t say anything about homosexuality at all. And yet, it’s thrown around like dogma. Simply said, not all transgendered are homosexual and not all homosexual are transgendered. I certainly don’t feel anything “womanly” about myself and I like boys. Some people may draw their homosexual desires from their excessive femininity, but others simply draw theirs from a strong sense of masculinity. It’s real and there is nothing weird nor wrong with either phenomenon.
(**Note that I did not use homosexual as a definite noun like “homosexuals” or “a homosexual”. ‘Homosexual’ is an adjective, not a person.)
Bading
Bading appears to be a fairly modern offshoot of the mediæval bakla. Ba- from bakla + ing from the same origins as juding, charing, etc. It does add a certain flair, doesn’t it? A certain shwing, yeah? But you’re right, it follows the same meaning. So it still doesn’t really say anything about same-sex love. Am I right or am I right?
Bayot
Bayot seems to come from “babaying may utin” (woman with a penis) in the Visayan languages. No doubt, a hermaphrodite by either biology or metaphor. Does this say anything direct about loving the same sex? No, it doesn’t.
So, there. None of these traditional terms often mistaken for homosexual actually mean homosexual in reality. If you think this is just a matter of semantics, think again. When women say “Ay, mukha akong bakla sa suot ko,” does she mean she looks like a man that likes other men? I bet she doesn’t. She clearly means ‘androgynous’ not homosexual.
That said, it seems that we don’t have words to directly describe homosexuality do we? Not Tagalog, not Ilocano, not any pre-20th century language we know of. And that says a lot about our ancestral mindsets. They just didn’t care who ‘loved’ who. Why should we?
So I must ask you, do we really need this fairly new Commercialist American concept of “gay” and “straight”? I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t. I’m not selling out, man!
You are a well-heard voice in the world wide web and I respect you, Migs. A lot of people read your articles religiously and your thinking affects them. I just wanted to argue because argument in the right context brings out something undeniably beautiful in the end.
My point being? if it is still unclear? Next time, think twice before you dub someone with a name that is as emotionally charged and historically distorted as bakla or bading. Some people don’t like it, and they have their reasons. Good and perfectly logical reasons.
Peace.
Cheers! Enjoy the weekend!
“Our lives begin to end the day we keep silent about the things that matter” (Pavos) / “Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth” (Archimedes)
ALDRIN F T
