Minsan
sa isang gabi na pinuno
ng mga damdaming
napilitang di umamin,
hinagkan ko
ang mga lumalandas na mga luha
mula sa iyong mga mata;
pigil hiningang
pilit unawain ka
 
sa bawat hikbi
namumutawi ang pagsintang
iniiyak maiparating.
Ngunit sa pagkalat ng alat
sa mga labi
ay kasama ang pait
ng katagang inihip sa hangin;
 
inasam na ikaw
(ikaw nga kaya?)
ang hinahanap
(ikaw nga kaya?)
para sa mga huling hininga

sa bawat paghabol
ng tingin
ay nawala ka na lamang ng
tuluyan.
(ikaw pa rin nga kaya?)

Hindi na ikaw
(hindi na)
ang kabuuan,
(hindi na)
hindi na ikaw
(hindi na)
ang katapusan.
(isang masakit na alaala lamang ang iniwan)

(putanginamo)

Sometimes when you look at a smooth glass real hard, and you squint to get a better vision, you see some specks of broken glass underneath it. It’s like a menagerie of shattered feelings inside completely stable facade.

Well. One shouldn’t really expect.

So why do I? Something must be flawed. I asked that question so many times even after the dot was placed before my lips. Nothing more to go after the hush, but the stubborn cries are escaping the pouts.

Well. Someone once said that emotions are recyclable. Now that’s another reason to feel jaded. You experience, you hate, you love, and in the end, you lose yourself in the illusion that life is yet another noontime show with everyone laughing at you while you’re in the middle of that crowd, squirming. You feel that embarrassment of being there, you feel that hatred to yourself for being there, and mostly you ask just why the fuck you’re there and you have to go through all the pain of having to experience that embarrassment. And everytime, you feel that extreme pain in your head whenever you’re in that pit of endless repetition. Yes, it’s emotions recycled, indeed. The human emotions is way too vast a blur to wallow one’s self into, yet it’s something everybody just tries to conceal behind the pristine, powdered face.

So that can be very scary if instability would always be an issue. Everyone is just on a big floor of thin ice.  But, according to most people, it is the instability that makes everyone unique, that makes everyone endearing.

Well. Welcome to the Grandest Show on Earth, where everyone is playing to be the toughest person to stay on thin ice. It’s just a fight between whose mask stays on perfectly longer than it should.