September « 2006 « EvilWearsPink : Space…because apparently, I now have lots of it.

More reference? Pick up the September 4 issue of Time Asia, the one about the stars. (which are, by the way, I took time to research about. Check the links here:

http://www.time.com/time/asia/covers/501060904/story.html

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1531895,00.html

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1533425,00.html )

putanginanamantamana!
written by jc under : Daily Mundane Life | Tags @ 02:07AM

Mahirap maging polite. Aminado ako dun.

Pero putangina. Sawang sawa na ako sa iyo. Matagal ka nang ganyan, e. Araw araw na lang.

Nagmamakaawa na ako sa kung sino mang makakarinig ng bulong kong sumisigaw na kung pwedeng tumigil ka na, pero hindi. Lagi kang ganyan. Wala naman akong magawa dahil andito ka na, eh. At nandito na rin ako. Mahirap man tanggapin.

Pero putangina naman. Tigilan mo na ang kabobohan mo. Parang awa mo na. Nakakainis makinig sa utak na walang laman. Ang yabang yabang mo pa mag comment. Putangina, hindi groundbreaking ang comments mo. Nowhere near sense nga bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig mo. Nakakatulig, pero wala naman akong magawa. Nagiisip lang akong magpasensya. Iniisip ko lang na malapit na naman ang paghihiwalay eh. Mapupunta ka na sa ibang grupong magtitiyaga sa iyo. At matatawa na lang ako para sa kanila. Mali–hahalakhak ako para sa pait at hirap at pagtitiyaga na dadanasin nila habang kasama mo sila. Tatawa na lang ako dahil masama man pero maiisip kong nakabawi na ako. Pero ngayon, ayoko na. Ayoko na ng sandamakmak mong reklamo. Eh putangina, bakit ba pinili mo pang pumasok rito at magtrabaho para sa ************* kung ayaw mo rin naman dito? Kung puro airhead na comments ang ibabato mo? Magthetheorize ka pa: bakit ganito ganito ganito? Putangina, kahit batang 5 year old na may sense kayang sagutin ang mga tanong mong feeling deep. Debatable na nga ang word na dense para sa iyo, eh. Kasi mas malabo ka pa dun. Nakakahiya ngang gamitin pa sa iyo ang word na iyon. Mali: Nakakahiya para sa word na iyon ang maikabit ito sa iyo.

Tama na. Putanginamohindikanatalaganakakatuwakungpwedetumahimikkanalangever. Tama na. Bawal na ang sobrang tanga. Parang awa mo na.

Protected:
written by abyss under : abyss | Tags @ 06:54PM

Tales of the EX.
written by jc under : Daily Mundane Life, Pseudo-Intellectual, Senti | Tags @ 02:13AM

I was on my third paracetamol this morning. Just an extreme headache I contracted sometime Sunday afternoon while I was going home. I was supposed to start on the layout of the blog and maybe format some songs on the pod, but I just had to go and tuck myself in at around 8pm. Which is rather early, when every Sunday I usually stay up late up until the house ghosts start the knocking.

It kind of made me feel uneasy though having to sleep on the same bed I always sprawled myself on usually on mornings and not recognize anything about it. At least my family didn’t do anything drastic upon my leaving to move to a temporary abode, unlike Ger’s whose family was too eager to have her move out of the house that everytime she comes home, the need to go back to Alabang is aparent. My mum is still sweet enough to change my sheets, or fix it just in case I come home and I would need a place to crash. My bed now also doubles as a dreamland refuge for my eldest brother whenever he comes home. But when I laid my back on my bed, I didn’t find the same welcome I used to get. Maybe the JC dog didn’t pee too much on the territory or something. I just couldn’t smell ME on the sheets. It doesn’t hug me as much anymore. Led me to wondering if my room has this hurt about me leaving them for another.

This is probably what my brother felt when he went off to get married. Even if it was his home for more than 10 years, it just doesn’t feel too “home” anymore. It’s just a good thing my mum’s there. She the only one who makes things feel like home, even if when I’m around I do get her own weekly rants that she needed to unload. So every Monday when I go back to Alabang, I bring her emotional baggage. *sighs*

But it’s the small things that lead me home. Last night, while the headache consumed me, my mum lay beside me and rubbed my back with this menthol thing that’s supposed to recondition your body. Then she just stayed there, hugging me, giving me warmth.

At least, her smell is around. That’s one thing I look forward to when coming home.

I received his text on my way to Alabang. Obviously forwarded, something about how if two lovers separate and remain friends, it’s either they’re still in love or they never loved each other at all. I told him the caring doesn’t stop after the breaking of hearts started.

Somehow, there’s always going to be a tender spot for everyone who has made a mark on me, or me on them. I may not consider them on the same level I used to see them at, but hey, they’re still people I voluntarily look after no matter how much the communication is severed.

III

Last Saturday I was at Giligan’s Makati with Ger as two of her friends celebrated their birthdates. I honestly froze when I saw this girl who looked just like Aiz, a good friend some years back. We had some problems over the years that prompted us to severe communication ties with each other.

I didn’t want to do an episode like two years ago when I had a manic hyper-neuro attack in Ortigas upon learning she’s in the same building I was staying then. I calmly took a deep breath, then looked at the girl again. Mere resemblance was all. Good.

But it was deafening, the realization that things come to reactions such as these. She was also a good person I didn’t want to lose, but it had to come to that. You wonder why things happen, but mostly, you wonder whether you’ve learned enough not to have an unwanted de ja vu.

Have I really learned? I don’t know.

on board
written by jc under : Daily Mundane Life | Tags @ 07:55AM

His little jamaican braids were bouncing behind him. But he was bent over my seatmate’s computer, analyzing this and that. He looked at me. Biggest mistake of his life. He asked what’s up. I rephrase, THAT’s the biggest mistake of his life.

”See, the [account detail] is this, but the [account detail] is this. But the caller paid $120 today, but it’s still not showing up on the account. Then she’s asking me [account detail]. Where am I going to deduct that? Is it going to be here, or here? Or should I tell her that since the account would be updated 24-48 hours, that it should show up then? Or would she be able to [account detail]?”

The trainor looked at me with mouth open, not breathing.

“Do you ALWAYS talk THAT FAST?”

Heehee.

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