I care not for those who bother to interpret
but forgive me!
Days are unknown for feelings that intercept
Truth surfaced and refused to be unknown
superficiality is here, let it be my ownhandle me not, you cannot understand
when a crying soul you left
in the middle of a threat
you chose to go
then so be it, now I know.

I just wish I wasn’t so beer-intoxicated when I composed this. Maybe you would have understood.

Someone forwarded this to me from some old ML I used to be in. Anyway…kailangan ba talagang “baby ko” pa ang tawagan nila?! *slightly nervous laugh*

Anyway, lotsa lessons here: for one, NEVER leave your phone to someone, and two, if you’re going to call them significant others something, make sure you call them just one endearment.

——————————

I was beginning to regret having worn my favorite red off-shoulder blouse and pleated skirt inside the movie house because I was shivering in the cold. But I took the huge risk because I knew perfectly how my favorite pair of clothing will impress my boyfriend. He loved it whenever I showed a little more skin but if and only if he was with me. I love how he compliments me - he never fails to make me feel as if I was the most beautiful woman on earth.

The movie hasn’t begun, and the cold was already enveloping us. We found good premiere seats. His hand was holding mine. The feeling of having him all to myself in the dark tickled me. It didn’t occur to me that he was smelling the side of my neck as he murmured, Bango naman ng Baby ko? I love you! Another smile curled my lips. Wala bang I love you too? He teased. So I answered back, I love you too, Baby.

After a few subtle kisses on the cheek, his cellphone beeped. He quickly checked who it was and buried his eyes on the message. I saw him reply to the text as if he was being chased after. Uy, bili ako ng food gusto mo? Kelangan ko narin kasing mag-load, may kelangan akong reply-an. Limang piso nalang yata laman nito! He whispered La akong bulsa, By. Hawakan mo muna ‘tong cell, baka mawala ko lang. You know how careless I am. I nodded and kept the phone safely in my hands. He slightly pinched my cheek, said I love you again under his breath, and took off.

The movie still hasn’t started. I closed my eyes and gave a hearty yawn. I almost fell asleep when I felt his phone vibrate violently. The name Michelle was blinking. Who’s Michelle? I thought to myself. Even before I could press accept, the phone stopped vibrating and displayed 1 missed call. The message icon was also blinking - meaning Michael’s inbox was full. I had to delete old messages to pave way for incoming texts. So I did. Five messages came in immediately, all of which were from “Michelle.” Without hesitation, I opened them one by one.

Ha?! Anong wg muna ako text? Kelangan natin mgusap ngyn na! Nsan kb kc?

Can I text you na?

Text moko if coast is clear.

R u still with her?

I felt my heart do a somersault in complete confusion. What did the messages mean? Who was that HER Michael was still with? I felt cold sweat forming around my forehead and nose. I took a deep breath. So I pretended to be Michael and replied casually to the text messages. She replied in a matter of seconds.

O, baket ka ba text ng text? May problema ba? Musta?

Hi Mike!!! Ano ng balita sayo? Baket ngayon ka lang nagreply? Kanina pako nagpaparamdam! Kasama mo pa ba si Shayne?

I thought I was just stabbed right in the chest when I saw my name in Michelle’s text message, but I continued replying with Michael’s phone.

Oo, bumili lang ako ng food. Iniwan ko si Shayne sa loob ng sinehan. Baket ba kasi?

Di mo pa kasi iwan yang babaeng yan eh hihihi! Love, tuloy ba tayo bukas?

Ah? Ewan ko, ikaw ang bahala. San ba tayo bukas?

Diba sabi mo pupunta tayo ng Laguna?

Ako nagsabi nun? Ah oo nga pala, I promised you that. Eh ano bang plano mo?

Ano? Ikaw nga ang nagplano eh! Baket parang binabalik mo sakin ang tanong? Nakalimutan mo na ba? 4 months na tayo bukas! Dapat astig ang out-of-town natin! Swimming tayo siguro tapos dinner? Alam mo na siguro ang ibig kong sabihin, love!

I lay motionless. The movie began. I felt my head spin violently - my vision was now blurred because of the big teardrops gathering in my eyes. But I blinked them away and replied as fast as I could. I knew Michael was on his way back to the cinema any minute now.

Oo sige na basta sabihin mo yun ang gagawin natin! Ang bilis ng panahon noh 4 months na tayo. Parang kelan lang? O sige pano ba ang plano bukas? Sabihin mo sakin ang nasa isip mo HONEY

Hmmm?. Basta bring your car nalang! Tawagan moko sa bahay tonight so we can talk ha? Love you lots! Mwah mwah! (smiley face)

I tried to reply I love you too, but the phone displayed Check Operator Services.

The whole world must’ve stopped before my very eyes. There was nothing more I could feel except for the tears rolling down my cheeks and the freeze that was now killing me inch by inch. I stared at the big screen while my thoughts drifted away? I couldn’t find the right words to describe how I felt that moment. Images of another girl and my Baby deeply in love with each other flashed in my head.

And all this time, I was sharing Michael with someone else? That all this time, there was another woman whom he had his right arm around? The tears were all coming out now. I know people around me were already staring, but I was no longer thinking rational. Emptiness devoured me that instant?

From a distance I noticed a familiar face walking up the stairs towards my seat. I cleared my throat, cleaned my face, and took several deep breaths. Michael was on his way to our seats at the center bunk.

I love you, Baby! Michael kissed me on the nose. Sensha na! Tagal ko noh! Dami kasi nakapila dun sa binilhan ko Sensha na, sensha na? He put down the plastic bags and held my hand tight. He kissed me softly on the lips and whispered passionately, I love you Shayne! I love you Baby ko? I didn’t have the strength to answer back.

He went on. Oo nga pala, simula bukas, may fieldwork kami. Baka next week na ang balik ko. Hindi ko pa sure kung saan yung site, so baka walang signal dun. But I’ll try texting you whenever I can, ok? I love you, Baby ko!

I wanted to shout at him, scream at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out. I couldn’t make myself say anything. I turned mute? my body was as numb as ever.

O? Wala na naman bang I love you too dyan? Dapat lagi kang nag-I-I love you too! He laughed.

I felt something vibrating on my lap again. It was Michael’s phone - another text message. Michael saw it blinking and immediately read the message at a distance. But I was able to read what it said:

Kelan ka pa natuto mgtext in small letters? (smiley face) tsaka baket honey na ang twag mo sakin? Hindi na ba love? Bago na ba? (smiley face)

There was a long, long awkward pause. I thought the world has just stopped revolving.

My lips were sealed and the tears were already flowing freely - I could no longer control them. Michael looked straight at me, with his jaw half open. His eyes were round and bigger than usual, full of questions and fear. We just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. I felt the whole world sink and disappear, leaving only the two of us alone in the dark.

After a few seconds of silence that felt like forever, I swallowed the big lump in my throat with all my strength and bitterly whispered?

I love you too, Baby ko?

blinded
by faith
deaf
of reasons
numb
of senses

how much more
bargain
to see those
fingers
tied up
against my

own

hands

of
fate?

+++++++++++

Ang cute naming dalawa, no? Pwedeng poster kids ng, say, Guess or Giordano. Papalitan na namin si Utt at si Jeon ng My Sassy Girl. Pwede ring poster kids ng Bantay Bata 163. Yung tungkol sa incest. *laughs*

Anyway, mahirap sumagot ng paisa-isa sa tag. At dahil malinis ang bahay namin (walang koneksyon, pero meron akong inalila kanina dito na pinakintab ang bahay namin at ngayon ay nasa Rizal na’t nanonood daw ng TV), sasagutin ko na lang through this post ang mga messages ninyo:

Jace: Oo nga, eh. Kambal, he he. I’ll post up a pic soon na mas lalo kaming mukhang magkamukha. Pramis. Musta ka na? Free ako ngayon, sembreak na! (That goes to you too, Tina and Grey) Text ninyo lang ako (dahil most likely wala akong load. He he).

Candice: tenks. Pero sinagot ko na yata ito.

Kuya ko: huwag kang magduda. Lahi natin ang tinitira mo, ano ba. *laughs*

James: Kung naiinggit ka, magpaDNA change ka. Yung tulad ng akin. Kaso mahal yun.

Jaye: ako nga, di ko Makita ang logic kung bakit rin kita kapatid at friend, eh. JOKE! (pero half meant. Mwahaha)

George: Octoberfest in Puerto Galera?! You are sooo lucky! Can you buy me those mountaineer-type anklets/bracelets na 3 for P10 lang daw? (I’m cheap, eh. Pero babayaran kita, promise. ) Magpabibo ka na lang sa Com. Baka kunin ka. They did it with Earl, nung nag guest siya sa isang play ata. Kung ayaw nila, ikampusap natin. *laughs* Kaso baka mataob mo sila.

Spider: so? She’s still an underdog. Pero rinedeem ko naman siya by saying underdogs rule, di ba? Mas maganda pa rin nga lang si Wynona. And Natalie.

Tian: Huwag kang bitter. *laughs*

Grey: Bakit pass lang?

James (uli): Malamang. Kung si Ranier nga, sa isandaang beses na pinagpilian yung pic niya, yung napili nila, pinagdududahan pa rin kung guwapo siya eh, ako pa, hindi mamimili ng pic? (koneksyon. Anyway, tatlo lang naman pinagpilian ko, eh.)*laughs*

Candice: pasado na ba?

Uy, sa inyong lahat, salamat sa pagbisita, ha?

++++++++

Anyway, give me something to do.

I want you to look up the comments link below this. Then, post your names below. I’ll come back one of these days then post what I honestly think of you, or even brutal comments about you (if there are any). I’m just undergoing this “relative” phase that I’m up to wanting to know what people think of what I think. At least YOU’d get to know what I think of you.

Go ahead. I’m giving you the liberty to post your names.

hep, hep, hep… dear readers, yes i do really exist in this “conjugal” blog. Just got no time yet for posting. but don’t wori. i’ll give a long shot (hopefully) the next time around. For now, i just want to make my presence felt. *lol*

P.S.
The time i was writing this, i was at jc’s domecile… and i was using their computer at 4 o’clock in the morning, Oct. 17 with her consent of course. Ciao for now.

P.P.S.
JC says she just wants to reiterate she wasn’t hallucinating a c0-blogger. Hehehe…

I heard from NU107 just recently that there has been a poll for the top 100 sexiest hollywood movie actors and actresses. Apparently, as much as a lot of people are vouching for Halle Berry topping the list, she placed #06. Guess who topped?

Surprisingly, it’s Keira Knightley.

Keira who? She’s the love interest of the oh-so-gay-but-still-oh-so-cute Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Carribean, with King Arthur as her most recent movie. You may also relate her to Winona Ryder as she amazingly looks a lot like that…err…kleptomaniac.

But of course, Star Wars fanatics knew her better. And being an ex-fan (I actually researched and concocted pseudo-intellectual analysis on the technical side of Tatooine racing pods and Anakin’s possible reason of falling into the dark side even before Episode 2 was shown–back in high school; I was that geeky), I can say that Keira’s roots travel back to around 1999 when one of her earliest movie stints was doubling for Natalie Portman as Padme in Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace. She bested Portman and is now probably even more famous than the girl who didn’t know better than to flash a fake I’m-21-ID on a nightclub when she was around 18, forgetting that she’s so famous because of George Lucas that everybody, even the nightclub bouncers, knew she was only 18 (yes, of all the exemplary brain cells Portman’s had, she actually had not much room for common sense). Knightley’s the perfect model for I-used-to-be-an-extra-now-I’m-a-star stories worthy of a spot in Oprah.

But of course, her fame can be attributed to her abundance of common sense, picking movies that might actually enhance her Hollywood image; if it fails to though, at least she would be lucky enough to have kissed Orlando Bloom. Portman didn’t want those kinds of movies. She wanted movies with heart (therefore arriving to the big screen with movies such as Anywhere But Here and Where the Heart Is), and those who impose the fame (fans) apparently don’t watch them. He he.

But at least, the underdog is now on the top. Portman was an underdog too, you know, before she hit it big with SW. I mean, she used to help me reply to half of the fan mails I get before she was finally discovered at a pizza parlor (one of those times she snuck out of the job and took a breather–and she got discovered) by one of those Revlon agents. Believe it or not, I used to be a Mouseketeer, so I got a lot of adoring fans back then. Which also explains why I hate Britney–it was her fault that the Disney Mouseketeers club was branded to be raising dimwitted bimbos because of her existence in the club, so naturally, I had to leave. As if tolerating her existence wasn’t enough, I had to deal with her reputation too.

Anyway, back to Portman. There–she used to do my fan mail replies before when she decided to brainwash the Revlon agent to get her some acting agent instead. Soon after that I let her have my fan-mail letter templates after she got some traffic. She got more famous than me, but hey, I’m not bitter. After all, I don’t want to bump into Britney again and rub elbows with her when I’m finally walking those red carpet galas.

+++

Speaking of another underdog, I posted this comment over at Marcelle’s blog days ago:

I think I should know that too. I’m from Cavite and every banner here screams Jasmine Trias.It’s just hateful how commercialism takes a toll on things. On one side, it’s almost okay to patronize someone who was somehow given her (compiled tv appearance) 5 hours of fame on International TV, since it does give inspiration to most “masa” Filipinos. But considering the facts that: one, technically, she’s a loser (well, what’s Fantasia Barrino doing at the top if she wasn’t?), and two, the Philippines is making a huge star out of someone who probably did not even consider admit she was half-filipina if not for our own media whores who unearthed the fact because of her obvious surname; it’s killing me to see banners like “Welcome Jasmine Trias, daughter of (her dad’s name), class ‘61″ on some proud school’s entrance doors. Or her Smart banners everywhere.

JD says Filipinos love Jasmine Trias because we love underdogs. I don’t know. I think we’re all just social climbers. *laughs*