What do you know, relatives are now on their way to Thailand, but I’m still in the middle of thinking what exactly I have been fucking up these past few days.
I can’t seem to do everything I have promised my self I would do. My days are passing by in a whirl, nothing’s getting accomplished. I’m overlapping some of my stuff.
I couldn’t seem to be a bit more friendly to my cousins. Try as might, I’m just becoming more and more communications deficit. They’re gone now and I still can’t get over it.
I can’t even update my site much. Blackmoon’s complaining to me. I still can’t fix the fucked up javascript. And can’t fix my other sites either. I miss my gigs.
And I’m missing a lot of people. Candz, Tina, Jace, Noel, Cris, Tani, Meme, Max, Aia, whatevers. Whoevers. I missing people I can’t even make my friends because plainly, I have no time to think. Nor make my next move. I’m using my time up for too much melancholy for things I shouldn’t even be sad about. Like upon learning that J is actually taken. I’m not even pursuing whatever I thought I’m feeling for J, but I just felt sad. Another probability missed.
Sorry. I just need to take my pill, that’s all.
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On the lighter side:
A friend was singing “And She Will Be Loved” a while ago. I have approximately heard that song for around more or less a hundred times this week. 80% from my mp3 endless repeat, 20% from the outside. It’s becoming an upper.
But come think of it, it’s becoming an omen. I always wanted that to become the anthem of my 18th year, but so far, no one’s singing that to me yet. At least the people I would have wanted to sing that to me didn’t know. Or wouldn’t dare anyway. And in a few months, the song’s going to be invalid.
Check the lyrics. You’ll realize what I mean.
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Sarah McLachlan on the background. Angel.
Darn it. Another reason to remember her. As if being in a publication office isn’t enough. And being in La Salle isn’t enough. I need to exorcise her thoughts.
