God. Imagine my disappointment.

Yesterday, I was bombarded by questions not only prickling my conscience but also my inner capabilities to stick through my decisions.

A few minutes after that, I walked back into class and just after my act of sitting down, the prof dismissed. yes, seconds after that.

today, i have to fix my blogger. but still, it won’t fucking work.

i uploaded numerous files and folders into my freeservers site, until after i did, it FORBIDS me to access my files, just because i wasn’t a goddam premium member. i realize that the only way i can have my site fixed is through signing up with f20.org, another free web hosting, but its server is actually down.

now i have to contend with placing a blue background color, at least so people can actually read stuff placed here. (my intial bg is white, and my font’s white. but who cares.)

and then i also realize, i need to finish the script and finalize issues for our film.

anything else? oh yeah. i realize i’m getting fat. argh.

Uh…It’s 12:55 am, and I’m still hoping the connection wouldn’t cut, all for the life of me. Mark and I were loafing around Glorietta a while ago, and I still haven’t had my rest. I’m just finishing a few touches for my Magazine project, and my website’s acting up, so we’ll see how long I can stand awake. But I’d try to edit this later on again, while in school.

Ciao!

27 August 2003 I�m still quite in a fix, what with our exams boggling me as ever. I honestly don�t know if I did well in the REED and Film App exams a while ago, but as I have filled in much of the spaces, then maybe I did do fairly well. Question though is if my answers were really the ones the questions call for. I�m still wishing for a much higher grade in photography, though. I know I�m not as creative as Marc when it comes to doing creative shots (proof is his involvement with our school paper, being one of the official photographers-in-training), but with all our huge spending, maybe a 90+ grade will suffice. Talk about wishful thinking. +++ I am so jealous of this guy who had a Ragnar�k tee earlier. I know tee shirts like that are made for males, and I am not to be considered as the ultimate Ragnar�k fan as the closest I have played Ragnar�k is only up to the opening credits (the damned program kept on bleating, �You have zero account balance� and so on, but that�s another topic), I still wish I can find a good enough tee with the same bluish label, preferably my size. Uhm�those who feel generous enough, I�m medium sized, kid�s tee. Preferably color blue, maybe black. : )

I am absolutely sick of this.

How dare you cough up an excuse that you wanted me to be happy on my bloody birthday. How dare you even ask me what the fine line between keeping a secret and lying is.

In my life, most people come and go without leaving so much as a scratch in my existence; all rubbish, plain trivial. In my life I have lived in a lie, playing in my own playground, in my own microcosm, without so much as an intruder to interrupt me.

And now that you forced yourself upon me, not settling with a hearty �no;� now that I have come to be tamed and dependent; now that you have promised not to go, you lie to me about your real intentions.

No, it wasn�t a lie. It was just a promise �that you�d never really leave.

From now on, I know where I�ll stand. I am just a lowly spectator just like everyone else, only I was labeled the best of all the spectators. I am just one of them who couldn�t stop you from facing death. I am just one of those who would suffer from a broken promise�a promise that was not meant/willed to be followed in the first place.

From now on, I�d just watch you from afar. Back to square one. I am not going to run after you anymore. I�d just stay still and suffer as I watch. I know I can�t force you to listen.

I will not run after you anymore, lass. Not anymore.